What shall I call this? Ah... "emo" entry.
Upon receiving heartbreaking (positively
heartbreaking!) news that your best friend in class is leaving your class, how do you deal with it?
I
couldn't concentrate on my Malay exercise today right after she told me (also because Buford & Rameera kept chitchatting around me, and I couldn't drown out their voices) & eventually handed up a really lousy attempt at answering the questions. Oh my goodness, I'm so worried about my Malay. Mr Tong's been giving me increasingly lower marks and I'm getting really, really scared. I know I have to buck up real hard for Malay, especially if I want to pursue an A20 for the finals.
Resolution: Concentrate hard & really properly do Malay exercises, don't ever take it lightly! Think of each and every exercise as a life-or-death situation. Ha.
And then during break, I really, really
didn't want to stay on campus -- because it'd remind me of
how different life in Taylor's would be without Meera to hang out with. It's not that I even hang out with her all the time, usually she goes back to her apartment or I go to the library or go out with other people. But when you put me in a situation where I can reflect all the times we could spend together, then the sorrow seems to self-magnify.
So I went out of campus, really, really, really far away. I went to... the market. Okay okay, it's probably not all that far away. But it's further than any where else I've ever been during break hour. Special thanks to An Nie & Sara for taking me there, across the blardy stupid longkang (I was wearing high heels today) and then waiting for me when we were going back out.
And it really hits me hard about all the other friends I should appreciate, and never ever take for granted. And I know I'm incredibly lucky to have so many friends around me, all the time, never abandoning me when I need them, no matter what.
And when we reached the market, Mary, Laura, Hong Ting & Melissa were there and called us over to join them. I like big crowds, did I mention that before? I love big, noisy family reunions or chaotic gatherings or just massive outings. I know that most people expect me to love the quiet and solitude that comes with being an only child, but on the contrary, it makes me appreciate ...
noise ... even more. Haha.
I think break time with them was really fun today, because it really helped to take my mind off things. By "things", it only means one thing: Rameera leaving -- because I really try not to care about anything else other than
my studies, my family & my friends. I know, I know. World-revolves-around-me syndrome, right? Hehe. Synonymous with "teenager", really. Hahah.
Ok. Talking crap now.
But anyway, it was just such a different experience having lunch with a big group, since I'm so used to small groups. I like both types of lunches -- but when my head is all screwed up, I love big ones the most. There is just so much going on at the table that you live in the present, right down to the milisecond.
It just brings a smile to my face thinking how I was really actually surrounded by people who cared about me -- people who I've only known for half a year or so -- at the table...
An Nie, Sara, Mary, Laura, Melissa, and Hong Ting. Thanks, you all... I'll always be there for you when any of you need me, too. :]
During the second break, I finally could bring myself to hang out with Rameera again. A big group of us went to
Burger King. (Did you know that in both trips to fantastic eating places, I didn't get
anything to eat from there? I had no appetite! All I had at college the whole day was a Chewy Bar during Buford-Cass-Sea Win-Collin ESL presentation & some chocolate sticks -- bought from MAC Centre -- in Burger King.) Lunch with
Jillian, Chinn Pei, Cassandra, Sarah Goon, Kang Yun & Foong Wan was very different from my market lunch earlier... for one, everyone was kinda bummed out. And we didn't really talk much. Haha. That's how bummed out we all were. I think Jillian cried the hardest. And that made Rameera cry. Then they all went into the classroom to cry. Wa. :[
I mean, it's not as if it's the first time I've had to part unexpectedly with my best friend in class. In Form 4, I got really close to Chu Jie
(who I have always been 100% behind ever since she saved my life at Fraser's Hill) but suddenly, the effing school pricks set up a new class called Angsana for the elite students. By "elite", they meant students who got 8A's for PMR & students who got 7A's who volunteered to go into the "elite" class. Being younger than even 16 then, I remember how upset I was. So, this time, I took it much better -- only shed a couple of little tears (some of my other classmates cried much more later when they found out Rameera was leaving!). *sighs* Part and parcel of life!
Hmm... speaking of
Chu Jie, I'm glad this incident reminded me of how absolutely unconditional my friendship with her is. Like, seriously, it doesn't matter to me what ever she does or anything that happens between us, I will always always always be on her side & help her any way that I can. My friendship with Chu Jie is different from my friendship with any of my other friends (even my best friends!). Why, though? Because what she did for me during Prefects' Camp in 2003, was ... was ...
indescribable.
Okay, it's quite simple really: anybody who knows me, knows what a chicken I really am. I'm scared of everything -- germs, height, cars, wobbly things, strangers, etc.. And
especially scared of...
the jungle. At night.
With no torchlights.And Chu Jie was there for me (literally every step of the way) for the god-knows-how-many-hours that we were in the jungle. I could weep, just thinking about that experience. You have no idea how very, very, very scared I was! I thought I was just going to keel over and
die. So, now do you understand why I say that because she has done that for me, proven friendship beyond any human expectation, she is possibly the most special friend I have? :] She was there for me today, too, when I was this
--> <-- close to bawling my eyes out.
Uh-huh. I'm really, really lucky. I realise that again today.
Things gradually got better toward the end of the day, and I think the best class of the day was Math! Haha, really! It was because we were doing this question, and we had to figure out how to solve it on our own first... and I did it! I was so pleased with myself! I actually used whatever
little common sense I had, and twisted it into a poodle-shaped balloon wad of
logic!
Then Seng Ming did the answer on the whiteboard, and his solution was really, really, really long & complex (which means he used more common sense and logic la...). Mine was... errr... 3 lines? Like... the whole thing could fit into two thumbs width of paper? Hahah! So Rameera was like, "Hey, can I do that on the board?" And I was like, "Yeah! Do it, do it!"
So she asked Mr Chong if she could, and I announced to the class that this was Rameera's parting gift for her last Math class. Ha, ha, ha! Then she wrote on the board: "Easy Way" with curvy lines below the title. *rolls eyes* Then she wrote out the solution. Then, some of my classmates started calling out to her to write "Easy peasy lemon squeasy" instead of "easy"... hahaha stewpid!! For those who don't know... "easy peasy lemon squeasy" is my MSN nickname... and she DID!
Omg so embarassing! Hahaha!
And it looked so funny next to the long, complex solution that Seng Ming had worked out. So cute la! And we took a picture of it. It's in Meera's cellphone, I'll try to get hold of it and post it up here soon.
Okayy this post is getting pretty long, but today was so eventful!
After college, Rameera went off to the SAM office to get her subject list for ICPU so she could start the selection (ICPU's subjects have REALLY long names huh...) ... and I met up with Carmeny to check out her Jujitsu class at 3.30pm (our classes finish at 3pm). We hung out with Meera until about 3.25pm (all these final moments HAVE to be recorded! And on my blog, because the Internet immortalises things, haha)... and then...
Jujitsu.
Oh WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW....
Watching tall, obviously strong dudes throw punches at nothing was really entertaining. And the self-defense methods taught were pretty awesome! Carmen rocks la weih! She's like the ONLY girl there, and she still goes there... and she does the stuff better than some of the guys... although they definitely are stronger (I think) because the
si fu (they have to bow to him you know! so cool! Haha!) kept asking the guys to not use bull strength, but use ??? (I couldn't hear what he was saying at that point).
Then, I had to leave before 4pm to catch the bus. Walked home with Nicholas & Tim today, and dropped by Cambridge Optical (to get brochure for coloured contacts, want to get a pair or two... yay...) after the bus dropped us off at the the bus stop. Thank goodness they came with me, because I lost my way about half a dozen times. Hahah... *shy*...
So, bottom liner of the day: I'm glad my friends are my friends. Simple as pi. :]